DOX magazine feature:
Oh, the pains of growing up.
Cucumber walks out!!!
Nine thirty a.m. Kiwi and Cucumber, who make up two-thirds of the rising band Innoscent, are sitting at a table in Listilo's, an Italian restaurant, ready for their interview. Several minutes into my questions, I see that the two girls are in no mood to be here. I can already tell that the interview is going to be difficult.
Nine thirty-three a.m. Kiwi has rolled her eyes at every question I have asked so far. Cucumber makes it more than obvious that she is alarmingly bored, staring off into space and making comments such as, "That person just dropped their fork."
Nine thirty-eight a.m. I ask the girls what they think of other bands/singers out there who are very rich and famous yet who maybe lack content.
"Those kinds of people really get on my nerves. I hate especially those little girls that prance around that can't sing at all but that sell about 20 million records anyway," said Kiwi.
At this point, I ask Kiwi to give me an example. She instead glares at me and coldly replies, "I don't give out names like that."
Okay then, well why don't you explain what exactly you mean by "those little girls that prance around?"
Kiwi rolls her eyes while letting out an exasperated sigh. "I mean exactly what I said. Those little girls that wear nothing and dance around all over the place and can't sing."
Nine forty-three a.m. There are seventeen minutes left in the time allotted for this interview. Every question that I ask Cucumber is offensive to her.
Are you Jewish?
"Yeah, but what the @!#$ does that have to do with anything?"
So you've dyed your hair once more...
"--Why does everyone have to make such a big deal about that? So what, I dyed my hair, big freaking deal. They think that I do it like I'm trying to be all rockstar-ish or some !@#$ like that, trying to make it out to be something that's it not. I dye my hair because I like to, end of story."
...Well I didn't mean to offend you, I was just saying...
"I don't get what relevance that has to anything anyway. Yeah, some interview--'Junk dyed her hair. She dyed it purple. She dyed it blue. She got a new haircut.' Hmm, um, yeah, I think that I'll pass on reading that one."
Okay then, we can talk about something else, by all means.
"And then before you know it someone see the articles and sees 'Junk dyed her hair' but don't read the whole thing and instead just read 'Junk dyed,' which they then interpret to mean 'Junk died' as in choked, and then all of the sudden I'm dead according to the wonderful media."
You know, this interview is getting really hard to do with you taking everything so personally, Junk.
"Oh is it? Well then let me make it easier for you. We don't have to do it." Cucumber then gets up and walks away. "Thanks for your time though, really, it was fun."
Junk, wait, I didn't mean it like that. Oh come on, please.
"No, really, I have nothing more to say. Bye love."
Nine forty-nine a.m. I have now lost half of my interviewee. I turn Kiwi, who rolls her eyes at Cucumber's walk-out.
"You shouldn't have mentioned the hair, that always does it. She just gets like this where she gets all freaked out about something and then it makes her so mad." She rolls her eyes once more. I'm assuming that she's rolling them both at me and Cucumber.
Nine fifty a.m. Resigned, I cut the already lost interview ten minutes short.
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